When the mind doesn't want to sleep

what are you gonna do ?

When there are no sweet fucking dreams

how do they come true ?

What is chaos what is peace, 

when all the riddles stay unsolved ? 

and only smoke and dirty sheets

give you a reason to grow old.


Can I forget, would you deny

that there is more than you and I 

cause we already found a life worth living ?

I don't know why I even bother

when every minute that goes by

will in the morning feel wasted and unforgiving.

But when the mind doesn't want to sleep

what are you gonna do?


Ich hatte dich schon fast vergessen.

Dein schweres Herz in dunkler See

es sinkt zum Grund nichts tut mehr weh 

dort hin wo's keine Liebe gibt.


Du könntest hier für immer liegen 

Jemand wie du ruht nie in Frieden 

Jemand wie du ruht nur im Krieg. 


Deine zwei Gesichter. 

Zerteilen dich. 


Du siehst die Welt mit toten Augen 

man kann dir nicht den Atem rauben 

treibst durch die Schatten ohne ZIel. 


So kannst du nirgendwo lang bleiben 

Niemand hat Zeit zu Zeit vertreiben 

NIemand hat Zeit dich zu verspielen. 


Deine zwei Gesichter.

Zerteilen dich.

Meine zwei Gesichter zerteilen mich . 

And the stars look very different today.



page from Simon Critchley's book on Bowie


In my head

there's a war between all things unsaid

and all the good people turned bad

In my head

all the shiny shit turned blue

and everything I feel tastes new

I don't know what I am thinking

search every corner, turn the stones

I do remember what I looked like

but who I was seems to be gone

And I am not sure where I'm going

I don't recognize the streets

and the house that I grew up in

seems like a language I don't speak.

In my head

all the happy kids are sad

and all the good people turned bad.


Sturm und Drang.


I wonder. 

Why do we say goodbye?

Whats good about leaving? 

I've never been good at leaving.

I am worse at staying.

Staying anywhere or anything.

I can't stay myself

and I can't change.

I love everything

and I hate everything

there is no in between

I love this - fuck this

I fucking love this

fuck loving this

though frankly , Mr Shankly

I have hardly any fucks left 

I gave them all to a world

that does not deliver meaning to me 

that knows only slogans, flags and strategy

so I am growing out of my own skin. 


When did this start

and where do I begin?

ich gruesse alle die ich kenne